One In One Out Rule – The Best Way To Manage Emotions

This blog was first posted on mycity4kids.com

Sorrow to happy

The other day I was cleaning my house. It was not the routine of mopping and dusting but it was a conscious and planned effort to separate the essentials from the clutter. We often make spontaneous purchases but we don’t always use them. Some things just lie in the cupboard for no use. There are some other things which are now worn out or unusable but we don’t want to throw them because there are memories attached to it. All this eventually results in heaps and piles of unwanted things at home. Hence, I had planned to throw away at least 50% of the unwanted things that day so that I am able to make space for the things that I really need.

At the end of this cleaning session, I was surprised to see how much space was freed up in my wardrobe, how the kitchen looked clutter free and how the contents in other cupboards were neatly arranged. It brought in a fresh feeling! After all, who doesn’t like an organised house?

Then a thought crossed my mind. Why can’t we follow the same action for all the clutter that we have in our mind?

Lot of times, our mind is full of negative emotions like anger, frustration, envy, loneliness, guilt. We do not acknowledge these emotions because we sympathize with self thinking it is natural and just to be angry, frustrated in so and so situation. Meaning, I will obviously get angry if someone insults me. I will think that the person is very rude. I will hate that person. I will not talk nicely with that person. What am I doing here? I am dwelling on negative emotions which is wrong. It is natural to feel negative emotions but what is important is we let go.

Unless I let go these negative emotions how am I going to be able to make space for positive emotions? Same like cleaning my house! I suddenly felt like I found a key to happiness.

If I let negative emotions dwell on my mind, it will set me in an infinite loop of negativity and then it will be very difficult to break through this loop.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell me when I was small. It said, Happiness is deaf and Sorrow is blind. The more crib and cry regarding why you are made to suffer or the more you talk bad about others, sorrow will come searching for you taking help of the noise (cribbing) that you make. Where as since happiness is deaf it will not be able to hear how unhappy your are. However, if you distance yourself from crying and cribbing happiness will see some space and will come and occupy that space. It will spread happiness in that space in such a way that sorrow will not be able to make any damage to you.

As a child I could not understand the depth of this story, but when I grew up I realized how meaningful and important it is.

The best way is to practice One In One Out Rule. It is nothing but what I explained above. Take out one and make place for another! For example, if you are short tempered, make conscious efforts to get angry less often. It will not happen overnight but if you continue with your efforts it will certainly happen over a period of time. Once you are able to control your anger see how it makes way for calmness. As and how your anger (magnitude + frequency) will go on reducing, you will have more serenity and patience. Thus, one negative emotion goes out and one positive emotion comes in.

You are the best judge of yourself. Because only you will know how do you react and why do you react in that fashion. Find of things in you that need to go out. It could be anything like anger, laziness, fear/phobia, hatred etc. Be on a look out for good things that you want to gain like containment, happiness, patience, modesty etc. Work on yourself to throw out bad things and bring in good things.

Friends, most of the things in life are simple but we complicate them because of our reflexes and negative thoughts in our minds. And in order to have a calm and positive mind, it is very important to detox your mind periodically, like you detox your body.

This will help you to gain control over your emotions, rather right kind of emotions and it will certainly transform you  into a better individual.

Dr T. P Chia says:

“To balance and control your emotions is one of the most important things in life. Positive emotions enhance your life. Negative emotions sabotage your life. We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our motions influence and shape our desires, thoughts and behaviors and above all our destiny. Positive emotions, such as the feelings of love, kindness, self-worth, confidence and optimism, produce a better person and a good destiny.”

Master the art of One In One Out and take charge of yourself, be a better individual!

Do share your experiences in comments section below.

Minion Madness!!!

Those who follow my blog would know that I am a Minion Fan.. jabra fan actually.

And guess what, the latest addition to my Minion collection is  earphones.

I ordered them from Amazon and these are just so cute, arent these??

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Now i am eyeing a Minion soft toy next, followed by Minion pillow.

Gifts and Charity is welcome!! 😅😜

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No Matter How Old I Get I Always Want My Mom!

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This blog was first posted on mycity4kids.com

Mother is the first person you get close to when you are born. And it stays pretty much the same later in the life too 🙂

I remember that as a kid I was so attached to my mother that my dad used to tease that my mom should have had a kangaroo pouch and carry me close to her all the time. Well, I was really like that kid who would run around mom the whole day! I always ensured that i grabbed a little more pampering and attention from mom as compared to my sister.

We never had that relationship which is often described in novels and films, like, mother-daughter  friends or something like buddies. But my mother never failed to establish a relationship that made me feel loved, cared and pampered. For me, she is the best mother and I will tell you why!

1) She is “Love” personified. 

All mothers love their children selflessly and so does my mother! She has raised us with so much love and affection. I do not recall any ugly scene from childhood where she is beating or punishing me! I mean, I can’t imagine how much patience she must have had while raising us, endless perhaps. When I look at the moms of this generation I see them getting frustrated and angry at the drop of a hat and they do not think twice before exhibiting their anger and frustration on their children. I am sure that my mom was not devoid of any frustrations but it is commendable that she never bothered us with that. All that i recollect from my childhood is love, love and more love. Even today her heart is full of love and it is so pure that she easily forgives worldly mistakes of her daughters.

2) Fresh and Smiling face!

She is always fresh and smiling. There may be tonnes of tension and worry on her mind, but it will never show on her face. I have seen her facing difficult situations with a smile. 

3) Very Active:

I have always seen her racing through her schedule and I wonder where did she get all that stamina from! I just cook a little in the morning and then head to work and I am dead tired by the end of the day. I just can’t imagine from where my mom used to get the stamina to cook for a family of six, get us ready for the school, wash clothes, work at office, grocery shopping while returning from work, cooking dinner, and at the end of it all listen to my senseless and non-stop blabber 🙂

4) Pillar of Strength:

Yes, she is my pillar of strength. I am a grown up women now, but I still need her around. Lot of times there is nothing that she can help me with but just a chat with her that time eases my tension for sure. I am sure I have blown up atleast 100s of my tension over a chat with her.

5) Always there for me:

No matter what, my mom is ALWAYS there for me. Her plans, her hobbies, her everything comes after me. I remember my days of depression when I would call her up and cry for nothing in particular ending it with a statement “I am not feeling well” and there she wouldn’t mind coming over to my place just to make me feel better. I remember my sick days when she has nursed me and accompanied me to hospitals and toughest of medical examination. Whenever I tell her that I am going to drop by to see her she cancels all her plans without a shade of reluctance. This is indeed an epitome of selflessness.

6) Un-matchable upbringing:

She has provided us excellent upbringing. She has carved us out to be a good human being first and then assume the responsibility of various relations. She taught us politeness, patience and respect by setting an example herself. She has taught us to DEAL with the life as it comes, but with a brave heart and a smile on face. She has sowed the seeds of  love in us and this love has bloomed in our life. She has taught us to spread happiness.

I can’t imagine how I would have been had my mother been not around. My mom is a human form of God!

I am what I am today because of my mom. I hope to have at least an iota of her qualities. If I am able to follow her footsteps, I am sure to head to heaven!

Today I am not be able to cling to her like I used to as a child, but the love is still the same. Even today I cry when I miss my mom, the only difference is now i cry secretly versus the wailing I did as a baby 🙂 Even today I long to cuddle up with her while sleeping and even today I crave to eat food from her hands. Just like childhood days. The only difference is the ever running time which brushes a bit of maturity to you! My ways of demonstrating love to her may have changed over the years, the matured ways may not be as cute and loving as before, but the magnitude of love that myheart holds for her has only multiplied all these years. 

My mom is my inspiration!

Love you mom ❤ ❤

Here's fantastic quote I read which suits you to the core:

"Youth Fades,

Love Droops,

The leaves of friendship fall,

But a mother's secret hope outlives them all"

May God bless you with a healthy and long life!

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Sometimes Less is More!

Less is More

Once I asked my maid whether she is willing to work at an Ayurveda clinic. I used to go for a treatment to this clinic and I personally knew all the staff there. We had become friends over a period of time and that’s how they had assigned me the task of finding a maid and i could not find anyone better than my own maid.

I: Mavshi, there is this clinic near Yogi Nagar. They are looking for someone who can work for them. There won’t be much work. Just sweeping and mopping twice a day, washing utensils of kadha (medicines) and wiping the treatment beds and cleaning the bathroom at the end of the day. Would you like to work there?

Maid: No!

I was super surprised to hear a plain No from her. I tried to persuade her.

I: Are Mavshi, they are going to pay well. 6000 Rs a month. You can leave all your jobs and just do this one, you will earn more. If you want you can keep couple of your current jobs to do in the evenings, it will add to your income. Plus it is close by. You wont have to roam around in sun trying to reach from one house to other house. They are also providing tea and snacks daily.

Maid: No, i don’t want to work there.

I: Why not? Give it a thought please. You will earn a lot more with lesser efforts than you have to take right now.

Maid: I don’t want more money. I like working at my current households. They are dependent on me. They don’t find a replacement even if I take a week long leave or fall sick. They never treat me badly.  I am happy with my work. Money is important, but not everything. Most of these households have helped me during my financial crisis, I can’t leave them for a few thousands extra. I owe them my loyalty.

I was astounded with her reply. She had a beautiful thinking. I was wondering that this woman who is barely able to make ends meet is so contended and happy and what’s wrong with me? Most of us are never satisfied with the progress that we make, the more and more money that we earn. We are always running behind materialistic things. If i compare myself to her, I have a lot more money (Thank God!), lot more luxuries (Thank God!), lot more education (Thank God!) than my maid but if I compare happiness, i think she is way happier than me.

What i realized was, her’s is a small world. There is no entry for unnecessary things (read luxuries) in her life. She is very clear with the distinction between necessity and luxuries of life. And hence, her life is full of happiness and satisfaction. She has lesser necessities and more happiness.

Sometimes, Less is More, isn’t it? 🙂

Like A Love Song – Book Review

Like a Love Song

My friend Pooja gifted this book to me on my birthday and it was such a lovely gift I tell you!

Like a Love Song is a love story authored by Nikita Singh and she has done a good job. I had never read Nikita’s work before and this book set a good opinion about her in my mind.

The story is all about Mahi’s life, dream and the people important to her in her life. It is all about how she gets dumped and fucked up her life. Nikita has penned down Mahi’s first relationship to a great detail. She has perfectly captured the attitude a 17 yr old would carry. She has portrayed Mahi beautifully. I could see myself in her in bits and portions and I am sure you will relate to her too. She is more of a live person than a character in the story.

I liked the fact that she has shown the protagonist as one little kid who messes up her life, drops out of college, fucks her relationships and almost destroys her dream. It all feels so real unlike other novels where the lead character is “know it all” kinds with great looks and super brains.

The entire story is knitted together against a plot of Mahi’s relationships and dreams. It is interesting to unfold Mahi’s life and Nikita has done a great job in keeping reader’s interest alive till the end. It does get boring in between when Mahi is shown hell bent on dropping out of college the second time, this time to chase her dream. But i think such things could be happening  in reality.

I loved the intensity with which Nikita has narrated the “post breakup” Mahi (the first time) and all her efforts to put herself together. It will really move you. Another powerful narration is towards the end of the story where Mahi has blown out practically everything that was important to her like her family, best friend, her love and most importantly her dream. You will really feel bad to see her in that state.

The falling in and falling out of the love will consume you, it consumed me at least because I hate to see personal relationships falling apart even in movies and novels. I personally think the end could have been better because I believe in happy endings but yeah, life is not always that kind and Nikita has captured that really well.

I think Nikita could have done a better job for describing “falling in love again” phase of Mahi. She did show her inhibitions but i feel should could have elaborated more on that and shown how slowly yet beautifully she enters the world of love again, rather than jumping in love after a small phase of holding to inhibitions.

All in all, its a good book. There is no moment of “what a crap story” or “it is so boring” but there are no moments of a great high either, apart from some power pact pieces i already mentioned.

Over all Rating: 3.5/5

P.S: I loved the character of Laila in this book :). Do read this book to find out more about Laila and Mahi.

IPL Fever & Fun

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As soon as April sets in, a unique enthusiasm runs through the country. For the country who is in deep love with Cricket and bears unmatachable passion for the same, April brings in a treat of IPL (Indian Premeir League).

A lot has been said about IPL ever since its conception 10 yrs ago and hence topics like friendly betting, cheer leaders, Shipa Shetty, Nita Ambani, ALL cricketrs etc have been trending for a decade now. IPL now forms a part of India’s culture. And it is clearly evident that this culture invites and welcomes one and all irrespective of caste and religion.
How much ever I may not be a fan of any kind of cricket, IPL does grab at least some attention from me. This year it was in the form of this joke that is doing rounds on WhatsApp. Read and have some hearty laugh. This could might as well be a reality, you never know! 😂😁😀😉😅😆😄

Pl let me know if you can help – A friend of mine  bought tickets to the IPL match .. the problem is that he completely forgot that this Sunday is his wedding… coz he bought the tickets few months before fixing his wedding date …. Now he wants to know if anyone is interested in getting married….!

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Badrinath Ki Dulhaniya aka Waste of Time!

BKD

I know I am late to watch this film but how i wish i had not watched it at all? After all, who likes to watch a film which has no story, no great music and not so interesting star-cast (except Alia Bhatt)

The plot of this movie is extremely mediocre where a guy falls for a girl, chases her, girl throws attitude and eventually realizes that she loves him. The story-line is pathetic. I wonder how did they manage to make a full 3 hr film on this? Entertainment factor is zero, literally! Varun needs to go back to acting school and Alia has wasted her talent over this movie, I am sure she can do better stuff.

The only interesting things are:

1 Alia Bhatt – She looks really cute in “Air Hostess” uniform

2 Seven Wonders of world in one place which is the hangout of Badrinath and Vaidehi.

3 Couple of scenes where Varun has flaunted his well toned body (the only good thing of him!)

I cant understand how this movie managed to get 3 and 3.5 ratings from renowned reviews, I will rate it only 1/5

If you have got nothing to do and are hoping to pass time watching this movie – God bless you!

Happiness is……

Happiness is ….. well manicured nails 😊

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You may ask me why so? Well, it is indeed a happiness to me because this is the first time ever i have had presentable nails… forget presentable, this is the first time ever i have had decent sized nails 😅😆

I have been biting nails ever since childhood so my nails eventually stopped growing. They had come brittle and would crack or break on their own. They were only a little bigger than those of a new born! No exaggeration, really, trust me.. until now applying nail polish was like making a dot on my nails 😂. It was today that i could apply some beautiful strokes of colour to my nails.

I feel awesome!

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Know Yourself!

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Most of us are happy to meet new people, know new people, but, how many of us are happy to meet our-self?

Actually, do we even meet our-self much? I am sure that the answer from most of you is NO!

We are so engrossed in being good in other’s  eyes that we almost forget that we have to be good to our-self too. We do so many things because it is expected out of us, because someone else wants us to do it, because it is our “responsibility” or because it is supposed to be done for whatever reason.

When a person is young, he does what his parents say. When he start schooling, he does what teachers say. When he gets married, he does what his spouse and family says. We are so busy living life for others that we often forget what we want.

Just imagine, growing old and abandoned and not having your own opinion about any damn thing only because you lived your whole life per other’s opinion. What would you do? Wouldn’t it be difficult to survive without getting anybody’s guidance?

Take a break from your so called life and peek within, see what you like to do, want to do. Know yourself better. Make friends with yourself. Understand yourself. And more importantly, love yourself. If you are able to do so, life can never throw a question that you cannot answer, you will never have dependency on other’s guidance. Your inner voice gives you the best guidance. Activate that inner voice within you.

Nurture yourself and grow strong.

via Daily Prompt: Center