This article was first published on Mompresso
Love is so common, isn’t it? It is all around us. But why do we still need a reminder of love? Do read my thoughts!
It was a normal morning like any other day. Pihu woke up at 5.30 am, made tiffins for her children, woke them up, bathed them, dressed them up, pulled them to the bus-stop and off they went in school bus after planting a kiss on her cheek. A morning cannot be any different for someone having two kids who are born only 2 years apart! Most of the times Pihu felt like they are twins only! 🙂
Pihu was a young mother. Got married at 23, first son was born at 25 and the second daughter was born at 27. Now she was 30 and completely in the “mother” mode. Her kids were here priority, even her husband Parag had to take a back seat. Parag was 8 years older than Pihu, but he had fallen for this beauty in spite of the age difference. After all, Pihu was someone who was adored by almost everyone. He had approached his parents and expressed his wish to get married to Pihu. Parents agreed at once since Pihu’s family was known to them and they too adored Pihu like everybody else. When Pihu’s family was approached for wedding, Pihu was only 21 and hence Pihu’s mom had suggested that they can get engaged but wedding should take place only after Pihu completes MBA that she was pursuing at that time. Both the families agreed and the rest is history. Pihu and Parag were a happy couple with two kids. Their family was complete and perfect. Parag being a lot older than Pihu always extented lot of understanding and empathy towards Pihu and their relationship.
Pihu called up her mother-in-law as soon as she reached office. It was a routine call. She would call her everyday and just let her know that kids went to school, all 4 of them are doing fine, everybody has had breakfast and would also remind her for her medicines. This was the only way to stay in touch after Pihu and Parag had to relocate to Mumbai from Bangalore a year ago. All this for the career opportunity Parag had got. Pihu’s mother-in-law was an immense strength to her and hence it was natural to find ways to be in touch. Although the call was routine, there was something special about today’s call
Pihu: “Hello…Maa, I reached office.
Ma: “That’s great, sharp at 8.30. Looks like kids didnt trouble you this morning”
Pihu: “No Maaa… Poor little creatures, I feel bad to drag them to school bus like that”
Ma: “Koi nahi beta. That’s how kids learn. Accha, baccho ko tiffin to diya hain na?”
Pihu: “Haaaaaa… Maaaaaa, mere bacchon ko diya, apke bache ko diya aur me khud bhi tiffin leke ayi hu. Hum sab ne nashta kiya hain, aap bhi kuch kha lo, zyada der mat karna. Parag ko yaad dilaya hi ki raat ke khane ke liye ghar hi aye, office me zyada der na karein….. (Pihu started reciting deliy answers to the daily questions of ma)
Ma: “Bas.. bas.. badmash, do baccho ki ma ho gayi phir bhi mere chinta karne par meri tang khichti hain. Ma apne baccho ki chinta kiye bagair reh sakti hain kya??”
Pihu: “Maaaaaaaaaaaa, aap bhi na! Chalo, abhi me rakhti hu. Raat ko baccho se baat karwati hu.”
Ma: “Are aaj raat to tum log ka kuch plan hoga na… Bahar ja rahe ho to zyada der mat karna. Aur kisi acche jaga par hi dinner karna. Thele pe mat khana, baccho ka pet kharab hota hain”
Pihu: “Nahi Ma, aaj koi plan nahi hain. Aaj kya special hain?”
Ma: “Valentine Day! Bhool gayi?”
Pihu: “Kya Ma aap bhi… Valentine day abhi yaad bhi nahi rehta. Kisko time hain? Waise… aapka aur papa ka kya plan hain??” (Pihu asks in a very naughty way)
Ma: “Chup badmash! Humari koi umar hain Valentine Day manane ki? Ye sab tum log ko karna chahiye. Beta, ek baat dhyan me rakho. Apne ghar sansar me kitne bhi ulajh jao, zindagi ki choti choti khushiyana banake rakhni chahiye. Chahe zimmedariya kitni bhi bade, do pal ruk kar zindagi ka maza lena chahiye. Nayi nayi shad karke ayi thi tabhi kaise chulbuli thi. Yaad hain pehle saal ke Valentine Day ke liye Parag ke liye tumne ek suprise plan kiya tha? Kitne khush the tum dono. Abhi bhi ho, par routine ki zindagi me tum dono ke beech me jo pyaar hain uska jaadu khone mat dena. Chalo rakhti hu, tumhare papa awaz de rahe hain.”
After this short call, Pihu realised that how she had dedicated herself to kids ever since they were born. She did love Parag a lot, but she had taken him for granted. She had always “assumed” that he knows how much she loves him. She thought about all the lovey dovey things they used to do before their kids arrived. Parag never complained about not getting attention anymore (he was indeed very understanding), but after talking to mom Pihu realised that a little expression of love can spice up their life a bit, can revive the magic in their marriage. After all, who doesn’t like to be loved, and pampered and longed for? Pihu at once made up her mind do something special for Parag that day. She also promised herself to continue doing it once in a while in future to.
Don’t we have a Pihu in each one of us? Don’t we take are spouse for granted? Don’t we over look them because of kids? We all do that, don’t we? It doesn’t mean that the love between us and our spouse has come to an end, but it surely results in to a great monotonous life. Express your love to your spouse. You may not need to do anything fancy for that. Small gestures like leaving a note saying “I Love You” in his wallet, or planting a kiss on the cheek when he is least expecting it, holding hands under the table while you are having dinner with family or just bunking the office and spending the day together can go a long way in expressing love.
Most of us know this, but we do not practice and that is the whole reason why we need reminders for love. Like we set reminders for meetings, tasks and chores, we must have some reminders for love too. And we really need that because we let life take the best of us and expression of love often takes a backseat. Not all are lucky like Pihu to have a mother in law who reminds her of small joys of life or to have a husband like Parag who is very understanding and non-complaining types, but all of us can make use of some small occasions to remind and express our love. Like celebrating Valentine Day, birthdays, anniversaries, little achievements or appreciation at work etc. The scale of celebration is totally a choice between you and your spouse. What is important is to let him know, that you love him more everyday!
Its not just kids that need our attention and love, our spouse does too! ❤
Do not forget to let him know how much you love him, and see how it spices up your routine life.
‘Reminders of Love’ good point made. Maybe a little something I could take back from this post of yours. I’m not ‘too high’ on the love thing, but I do agree that it is necessary to express it from time-to-time.
What a pertinent point you make. Spouses too need love. Everybody does. Great article!
Thanks Pradita. I think spouses are the ones who suffer the most because we strive to show our love and respect to everybody – our family, extended family, colleagues, friends, relatives but spouse! We just know that they know how much we love them. But that doesn’t do any good to the relationship. The need for love should be satiated with love, nothing else.
Precisely. Which is why I wrote that article – why do we take our closest relationships for granted. Because we have that assurity that they’re always going to be around. But that’s unfair. If they are the most important people in our lives, they should be treated as such as well
Yes, i remember that article of urs. It was a good one!
Thanks Aditi 😊