One In One Out Rule – The Best Way To Manage Emotions

This blog was first posted on mycity4kids.com

Sorrow to happy

The other day I was cleaning my house. It was not the routine of mopping and dusting but it was a conscious and planned effort to separate the essentials from the clutter. We often make spontaneous purchases but we don’t always use them. Some things just lie in the cupboard for no use. There are some other things which are now worn out or unusable but we don’t want to throw them because there are memories attached to it. All this eventually results in heaps and piles of unwanted things at home. Hence, I had planned to throw away at least 50% of the unwanted things that day so that I am able to make space for the things that I really need.

At the end of this cleaning session, I was surprised to see how much space was freed up in my wardrobe, how the kitchen looked clutter free and how the contents in other cupboards were neatly arranged. It brought in a fresh feeling! After all, who doesn’t like an organised house?

Then a thought crossed my mind. Why can’t we follow the same action for all the clutter that we have in our mind?

Lot of times, our mind is full of negative emotions like anger, frustration, envy, loneliness, guilt. We do not acknowledge these emotions because we sympathize with self thinking it is natural and just to be angry, frustrated in so and so situation. Meaning, I will obviously get angry if someone insults me. I will think that the person is very rude. I will hate that person. I will not talk nicely with that person. What am I doing here? I am dwelling on negative emotions which is wrong. It is natural to feel negative emotions but what is important is we let go.

Unless I let go these negative emotions how am I going to be able to make space for positive emotions? Same like cleaning my house! I suddenly felt like I found a key to happiness.

If I let negative emotions dwell on my mind, it will set me in an infinite loop of negativity and then it will be very difficult to break through this loop.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell me when I was small. It said, Happiness is deaf and Sorrow is blind. The more crib and cry regarding why you are made to suffer or the more you talk bad about others, sorrow will come searching for you taking help of the noise (cribbing) that you make. Where as since happiness is deaf it will not be able to hear how unhappy your are. However, if you distance yourself from crying and cribbing happiness will see some space and will come and occupy that space. It will spread happiness in that space in such a way that sorrow will not be able to make any damage to you.

As a child I could not understand the depth of this story, but when I grew up I realized how meaningful and important it is.

The best way is to practice One In One Out Rule. It is nothing but what I explained above. Take out one and make place for another! For example, if you are short tempered, make conscious efforts to get angry less often. It will not happen overnight but if you continue with your efforts it will certainly happen over a period of time. Once you are able to control your anger see how it makes way for calmness. As and how your anger (magnitude + frequency) will go on reducing, you will have more serenity and patience. Thus, one negative emotion goes out and one positive emotion comes in.

You are the best judge of yourself. Because only you will know how do you react and why do you react in that fashion. Find of things in you that need to go out. It could be anything like anger, laziness, fear/phobia, hatred etc. Be on a look out for good things that you want to gain like containment, happiness, patience, modesty etc. Work on yourself to throw out bad things and bring in good things.

Friends, most of the things in life are simple but we complicate them because of our reflexes and negative thoughts in our minds. And in order to have a calm and positive mind, it is very important to detox your mind periodically, like you detox your body.

This will help you to gain control over your emotions, rather right kind of emotions and it will certainly transform you  into a better individual.

Dr T. P Chia says:

“To balance and control your emotions is one of the most important things in life. Positive emotions enhance your life. Negative emotions sabotage your life. We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our motions influence and shape our desires, thoughts and behaviors and above all our destiny. Positive emotions, such as the feelings of love, kindness, self-worth, confidence and optimism, produce a better person and a good destiny.”

Master the art of One In One Out and take charge of yourself, be a better individual!

Do share your experiences in comments section below.

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Minion Madness!!!

Those who follow my blog would know that I am a Minion Fan.. jabra fan actually.

And guess what, the latest addition to my Minion collection is  earphones.

I ordered them from Amazon and these are just so cute, arent these??

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Now i am eyeing a Minion soft toy next, followed by Minion pillow.

Gifts and Charity is welcome!! 😅😜

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No Matter How Old I Get I Always Want My Mom!

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This blog was first posted on mycity4kids.com

Mother is the first person you get close to when you are born. And it stays pretty much the same later in the life too 🙂

I remember that as a kid I was so attached to my mother that my dad used to tease that my mom should have had a kangaroo pouch and carry me close to her all the time. Well, I was really like that kid who would run around mom the whole day! I always ensured that i grabbed a little more pampering and attention from mom as compared to my sister.

We never had that relationship which is often described in novels and films, like, mother-daughter  friends or something like buddies. But my mother never failed to establish a relationship that made me feel loved, cared and pampered. For me, she is the best mother and I will tell you why!

1) She is “Love” personified. 

All mothers love their children selflessly and so does my mother! She has raised us with so much love and affection. I do not recall any ugly scene from childhood where she is beating or punishing me! I mean, I can’t imagine how much patience she must have had while raising us, endless perhaps. When I look at the moms of this generation I see them getting frustrated and angry at the drop of a hat and they do not think twice before exhibiting their anger and frustration on their children. I am sure that my mom was not devoid of any frustrations but it is commendable that she never bothered us with that. All that i recollect from my childhood is love, love and more love. Even today her heart is full of love and it is so pure that she easily forgives worldly mistakes of her daughters.

2) Fresh and Smiling face!

She is always fresh and smiling. There may be tonnes of tension and worry on her mind, but it will never show on her face. I have seen her facing difficult situations with a smile. 

3) Very Active:

I have always seen her racing through her schedule and I wonder where did she get all that stamina from! I just cook a little in the morning and then head to work and I am dead tired by the end of the day. I just can’t imagine from where my mom used to get the stamina to cook for a family of six, get us ready for the school, wash clothes, work at office, grocery shopping while returning from work, cooking dinner, and at the end of it all listen to my senseless and non-stop blabber 🙂

4) Pillar of Strength:

Yes, she is my pillar of strength. I am a grown up women now, but I still need her around. Lot of times there is nothing that she can help me with but just a chat with her that time eases my tension for sure. I am sure I have blown up atleast 100s of my tension over a chat with her.

5) Always there for me:

No matter what, my mom is ALWAYS there for me. Her plans, her hobbies, her everything comes after me. I remember my days of depression when I would call her up and cry for nothing in particular ending it with a statement “I am not feeling well” and there she wouldn’t mind coming over to my place just to make me feel better. I remember my sick days when she has nursed me and accompanied me to hospitals and toughest of medical examination. Whenever I tell her that I am going to drop by to see her she cancels all her plans without a shade of reluctance. This is indeed an epitome of selflessness.

6) Un-matchable upbringing:

She has provided us excellent upbringing. She has carved us out to be a good human being first and then assume the responsibility of various relations. She taught us politeness, patience and respect by setting an example herself. She has taught us to DEAL with the life as it comes, but with a brave heart and a smile on face. She has sowed the seeds of  love in us and this love has bloomed in our life. She has taught us to spread happiness.

I can’t imagine how I would have been had my mother been not around. My mom is a human form of God!

I am what I am today because of my mom. I hope to have at least an iota of her qualities. If I am able to follow her footsteps, I am sure to head to heaven!

Today I am not be able to cling to her like I used to as a child, but the love is still the same. Even today I cry when I miss my mom, the only difference is now i cry secretly versus the wailing I did as a baby 🙂 Even today I long to cuddle up with her while sleeping and even today I crave to eat food from her hands. Just like childhood days. The only difference is the ever running time which brushes a bit of maturity to you! My ways of demonstrating love to her may have changed over the years, the matured ways may not be as cute and loving as before, but the magnitude of love that myheart holds for her has only multiplied all these years. 

My mom is my inspiration!

Love you mom ❤ ❤

Here's fantastic quote I read which suits you to the core:

"Youth Fades,

Love Droops,

The leaves of friendship fall,

But a mother's secret hope outlives them all"

May God bless you with a healthy and long life!

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