While i was surfing through my Facebook wall I came across this picture and it really struck a chord somewhere deep in my mind.
Most of us I think go through this phase sooner or later. As we grow up priorities change, habits change, thought process changes but the REAL YOU doesnt change. It justs hides behind these superficial factors and then we get so used to it that we let it hide there. Lot of times we purposely lock it there to be what we are expected to be.
My story is no different. I was absolutely talkative as a child, very emotional, extremely attached to my mom so much so that my dad would often say jokingly that i should have been a kangaroo so that i could sit in my mother’s pauch on the tummy and go with her wherever she went. I had many many friends and I was quite outspoken too.
As i grew up, things changed a bit but the major change came in when i got married. It was like changing myself 360degrees. My life was suddenly full with new people, new family and a whole big set of new expections out of me. I got so busy with being a good daughter-in-law, a good wife, a good aunt, a good sister-in-law and the list just didnt end! Soon i was able to adapt to the new culture and responsibilities and little did i realize that while I was bringing on these changes in me i am leaving myself far behind.
Today, i have very less friends, rest all are just aquaintances. Today I am not outspoken as much as I was, i keep mum at lot of intances where the real Aditi would have had words shooting like a machine gun. Today i miss my mom a lot more than i did as a child but there are times when i dont get a chance to talk to her for a week or more. Today I am still emotional but i have learnt to mask my emotions most of the times because displaying the same would now be seen as being childish. Its more about “measured emotions” today. I have long forgotten what my hobies were and l no longer recollect my passion!
I dont regret a bit for having moulded myself so much. It was very important to do so. But today, after 6 years of marriage I no longer have to work on these things, these things are like in my blood now! And now when i have some spare moment to think about myself this picture worked as a catalyst.
Today I have plenty time to think about what I like, what I want to do. Today I dont suffer from identity crisis which I went through a few years ago. Today I am Aditi, just that i need to make a little conscious effort on working towards being myself!
Until now it was more about missing others (husband, friends, parents etc) but now is the time I miss myself.
This picture has inspired me to a great extent. Beginning this year, i resumed my hobby of writing and that is how this blog saw the light of the day. Now in coming time i want to work more on strengthning friendships, giving more time to my mom and resuming reading books like i did before.
Friends, do give a thought of you are missing yourself. It is indeed the worst missing. Do give time to yourself and see how you are doing. The REAL YOU that is locked up inside you deserves some pampering once in a while!