Public Display of Affection


Yesterday being the Valentine’s Day, all that I could see around me was ambience of love, love and more love. The malls and restaurants  were decorated with hearts and red balloons, many shops were conducting sale on this special occasion, rose vendors proudly selling roses at exotic prices, all youngsters hanging out with their (so called) loved ones exchanging gifts and flowers and hugs and kisses. Sounds interesting? Well, it did not interest me a bit!!  Over the years, this day has been over rated and as a result we get to see public display of affection (PDA) all around us.

These days, the mentality is to show off your love to the audience more than your lover! And there are many avenues that encourage this mentality. It is very common to see youngsters getting physical in open (I don’t want to comment whether it is right or wrong!) but it doesn’t stop there! These guys do not spare the social media websites too! They don’t get tired of updating their walls with every minute detail of how their relationship is blooming, how they feel loved, how they can do anything for their love, how lucky they are to find their soul mates, how perfect their spouse is and what not!

If I read such a post on Facebook, I feel happy! Yeah, I truly feel happy for such a couple, but at the same time I also feel what these guys are up to? Would they be saying the same words in person? I mean, logically, if you are making a declaration of your love to the whole world via a social media website, what’s left to say in person? And more often than not, if a girl makes such a demand, I am almost certain that she will be shun by saying that her expectations are too much, she is not happy even when the boy did so much for her – and by so much we mean posting ‘I love you’ on the wall!

Just imagine the impact these words will bring if you say it to your loved one instead of just posting it on their wall! And then, it brings me to the realization of the band wagon effect that is trending these days! More often than not, these posts are made to attract maximum number of likes and comments from friends (and at times strangers too!) and the author feels so proud to see the number increasing every passing minute that little does he realize that his focus has shifted from expressing love to his soul mate to being a center of attraction. And this is exactly when the expression of love turns into a public display!

While it is alright to express your love with the help of any medium, what matters is the intention behind doing so! I mentioned band wagon effect a while ago –so, “expressing love” is following a band wagon effect indeed.

In simple words, band wagon effect means, I will do a certain thing because most of the others are doing it – whether I agree or understand it is a different story, but I will still do it because others are doing so, and, I do it out of the feeling that if I don’t follow others, I will be an ugly duckling in a group of beautiful swans.  So, most of the display of affection that we see on social media websites and parks and sea sides are because of this band wagon effect more than the real feelings. For many college students not having a girl friend is such a big deal because they fear the peer pressure that would label them as a loser! You are considered a dumb *** if you haven’t being physical with your boyfriend! And these youngsters want to do all these things desperately so that they are not looked down upon by their peers, not because they really really love someone!

What is the need to show off your love to the whole audience who is not related to your relationship in anyway? If you indeed love someone, why not just tell him? Aren’t some things to be shared only with that special person? Are you not trying to be the talk of the town by exhibiting your love this way? And do you really FEEL the same level of love that you demonstrate as PDA?

All these thoughts clutter my mind and at times I feel sad that we are deteriorating the value of feelings and emotions these days by advertising and being so open about them and expressing them just to be a hero! We are losing the charm of love.

These are my personal thoughts and I do insist that these are correct or incorrect; neither do I intend to prove that anybody who believes in PDA is wrong!

But guys give it a thought. What would you like more:

  1. Your guy telling you privately how much he loves you and what he can do for you and plants a kiss on your cheek      OR
  2. He posts a pic of him kissing you and writing to the whole world how much he loves you but doesn’t say a word about it when you are with him, but doesn’t forget to update you on how much likes and comments he got over that post

9 thoughts on “Public Display of Affection

  1. Agree on the fact that PDA is a fad today. The defination of love is changing and so are expectations. Good one and well written.

  2. Aditi even i had or have joined the band wagon thnx ur write up helped me to di self introspection n hv a reality chk abt my blind folded act of joining the band wagon…u can say this is my confession…but ur blog is an eye opener to many like me who were in the social dilemma…u knw to be or not to be …but kudos for planting seeds of these thoughts in my virtually blind folded brain😘

  3. Rightly said Adit… new generation needs to understand these things. PDA is something not acceptable. Malls and streets are not the place to show your love. I think there are better ways to show that you care.
    One thing is sure… how much ever one tries to move towards western culture at the end, we must always be within certain limitations as laid by Indian culture…..

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