Reminder Of Love <3

This article was first published on Mompresso

Happy Family

Love is so common, isn’t it? It is all around us. But why do we still need a reminder of love? Do read my thoughts!

It was a normal morning like any other day. Pihu woke up at 5.30 am, made tiffins for her children, woke them up, bathed them, dressed them up, pulled them to the bus-stop and off they went in school bus after planting a kiss on her cheek. A morning cannot be any different for someone having two kids who are born only 2 years apart! Most of the times Pihu felt like they are twins only! 🙂

Pihu was a young mother. Got married at 23, first son was born at 25 and the second daughter was born at 27. Now she was 30 and completely in the “mother” mode. Her kids were here priority, even her husband Parag had to take a back seat. Parag was 8 years older than Pihu, but he had fallen for this beauty in spite of the age difference. After all, Pihu was someone who was adored by almost everyone. He had approached his parents and expressed his wish to get married to Pihu. Parents agreed at once since Pihu’s family was known to them and they too adored Pihu like everybody else. When Pihu’s family was approached for wedding, Pihu was only 21 and hence Pihu’s mom had suggested that they can get engaged but wedding should take place only after Pihu completes MBA that she was pursuing at that time. Both the families agreed and the rest is history. Pihu and Parag were a happy couple with two kids. Their family was complete and perfect. Parag being a lot older than Pihu always extented lot of understanding and empathy towards Pihu and their relationship.

Pihu called up her mother-in-law as soon as she reached office. It was a routine call. She would call her everyday and just let her know that kids went to school, all 4 of them are doing fine, everybody has had breakfast and would also remind her for her medicines. This was the only way to stay in touch after Pihu and Parag had to relocate to Mumbai from Bangalore a year ago. All this for the career opportunity Parag had got. Pihu’s mother-in-law was an immense strength to her and hence it was natural to find ways to be in touch. Although the call was routine, there was something special about today’s call

Pihu: “Hello…Maa, I reached office.

Ma: “That’s great, sharp at 8.30. Looks like kids didnt trouble you this morning”

Pihu: “No Maaa… Poor little creatures, I feel bad to drag them to school bus like that”

Ma: “Koi nahi beta. That’s how kids learn. Accha, baccho ko tiffin to diya hain na?”

Pihu: “Haaaaaa… Maaaaaa, mere bacchon ko diya, apke bache ko diya aur me khud bhi tiffin leke ayi hu. Hum sab ne nashta kiya hain, aap bhi kuch kha lo, zyada der mat karna. Parag ko yaad dilaya hi ki raat ke khane ke liye ghar hi aye, office me zyada der na karein….. (Pihu started reciting deliy answers to the daily questions of ma)

Ma: “Bas.. bas.. badmash, do baccho ki ma ho gayi phir bhi mere chinta karne par meri tang khichti hain. Ma apne baccho ki chinta kiye bagair reh sakti hain kya??”

Pihu: “Maaaaaaaaaaaa, aap bhi na! Chalo, abhi me rakhti hu. Raat ko baccho se baat karwati hu.”

Ma: “Are aaj raat to tum log ka kuch plan hoga na… Bahar ja rahe ho to zyada der mat karna. Aur kisi acche jaga par hi dinner karna. Thele pe mat khana, baccho ka pet kharab hota hain”

Pihu: “Nahi Ma, aaj koi plan nahi hain. Aaj kya special hain?”

Ma: “Valentine Day! Bhool gayi?”

Pihu: “Kya Ma aap bhi… Valentine day abhi yaad bhi nahi rehta. Kisko time hain? Waise… aapka aur papa ka kya plan hain??” (Pihu asks in a very naughty way)

Ma: “Chup badmash! Humari koi umar hain Valentine Day manane ki? Ye sab tum log ko karna chahiye. Beta, ek baat dhyan me rakho. Apne ghar sansar me kitne bhi ulajh jao, zindagi ki choti choti khushiyana banake rakhni chahiye. Chahe zimmedariya kitni bhi bade, do pal ruk kar zindagi ka maza lena chahiye. Nayi nayi shad karke ayi thi tabhi kaise chulbuli thi. Yaad hain pehle saal ke Valentine Day ke liye Parag ke liye tumne ek suprise plan kiya tha? Kitne khush the tum dono. Abhi bhi ho, par routine ki zindagi me tum dono ke beech me jo pyaar hain uska jaadu khone mat dena. Chalo rakhti hu, tumhare papa awaz de rahe hain.”

After this short call, Pihu realised that how she had dedicated herself to kids ever since they were born. She did love Parag a lot, but she had taken him for granted. She had always “assumed” that he knows how much she loves him. She thought about all the lovey dovey things they used to do before their kids arrived. Parag never complained about not getting attention anymore (he was indeed very understanding), but after talking to mom Pihu realised that a little expression of love can spice up their life a bit, can revive the magic in their marriage. After all, who doesn’t like to be loved, and pampered and longed for? Pihu at once made up her mind do something special for Parag that day. She also promised herself to continue doing it once in a while in future to.

Don’t we have a Pihu in each one of us? Don’t we take are spouse for granted? Don’t we over look them because of kids? We all do that, don’t we? It doesn’t mean that the love between us and our spouse has come to an end, but it surely results in to a great monotonous life. Express your love to your spouse. You may not need to do anything fancy for that. Small gestures like leaving a note saying “I Love You” in his wallet, or planting a kiss on the cheek when he is least expecting it, holding hands under the table while you are having dinner with family or just bunking the office and spending the day together can go a long way in expressing love.

Most of us know this, but we do not practice and that is the whole reason why we need reminders for love. Like we set reminders for meetings, tasks and chores, we must have some reminders for love too. And we really need that because we let life take the best of us and expression of love often takes a backseat. Not all are lucky like Pihu to have a mother in law who reminds her of small joys of life or to have a husband like Parag who is very understanding and non-complaining types, but all of us can make use of some small occasions to remind and express our love. Like celebrating Valentine Day, birthdays, anniversaries, little achievements or appreciation at work etc. The scale of celebration is totally a choice between you and your spouse. What is important is to let him know, that you love him more everyday!

Its not just kids that need our attention and love, our spouse does too! ❤

Do not forget to let him know how much you love him, and see how it spices up your routine life.

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Is Someone Watching You?

eyes

Have you ever felt that someone is watching you, you look around and find no one? Well, it happens quite often with me. Lot of times I feel some kind of presence around me, but i do not see any one. Lot of times that presence seems to be very familiar to the person I know, but there is no physicality to that presence.

You may say I am weird, which I could be really! But this is very true. I don’t want to objectify this presence by calling it ghosts, souls or any other names, but I just know that there is always someone around. I can feel them. They never harm me, they just hang around for a while and go. Feels like they have just come to check on me, see that I am doing fine, linger around for a while and then they leave.

I can share a few examples.

One evening I was alone at home and I was distressed over something. I was getting this feeling that someone very close to me is in danger. I couldn’t understand who and for what reason. Was someone getting a heart-attack? Was someone going to meet with an accident? There was no way I could figure out and the feeling on distress went to become so strong that it was getting very difficult for me to retain composure. At the same time, I could feel a presence of someone around me. The presence felt like that of a gigantic human being. This presence was very soothing, and didn’t add to my distress. But at the same time, it didn’t reduce my distress either. I folded my hands, closed my eyes and prayed to God to protect that someone from whatever unfortunate situation set upon him. I felt my eyes so heavy that I couldn’t open them for a while. And what do I see with closed eyes? I saw some gigantic human striding through unknown highway, pushing aside heavy traffic. His one step was bigger that the distance the running cars were covering. Soon after, I saw that He was holding a body in his hands and returning from the same highway. I couldn’t see whose body that was. I just knew that the body had life in it. Which meant that whoever was in danger was saved. Or so I liked to believe.

Another night, my husband and I had a serious argument over something, when we were just going to fall asleep. The natural reaction was that I picked up my pillow and went to another room to sleep. Obviously I didn’t want to sleep with him that night. I barged in to another room, banged the door shut behind me, threw myself in bed and shut my eyes tight. That was the only way I could express anger after falling short of words. I was expecting that my husband would come and try and patch up and I was telling myself that how much ever he tries to mend ways, I am not going to give in. All these thoughts were running through my mind while my eyes were tightly shut. And in no time, I felt a hand brushing my cheek and then running through my hair and I was ecstatic. It was obvious that my husband had come to pamper me a bit and end the fight. I opened my eyes with a smile on my face and what do i see? No one! Yes, no one!!! It took me a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened and when I did, I grabbed my pillow and rand out of the room. Went straight to my bedroom where I saw that my husband was happily snoring. I slipped in to the same sheet as his, grabbed him in a bear hug and shut my eyes tightly once again. This time, out of love for him! 😉

I am sure that by now, many of you are thinking that these stories are made up, and handful of you may have also thought that I need help from a psychologist 😛 but trust me, every bit of this is true. Have you ever felt like this before? How have you reacted in such cases?

 

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home

I have been very attached to my home ever since I was a child. While I love to go out on tours and outings, I love more to come back home. There have been many situations in the past where I had traveled to some exotic locations (e.g Switzerland) or traveled with best of the people (friends and family) yet I missed home every single day!

Why miss home when you are travelling with family, you may ask. And my answer is “I dont know!” Yeah, I really dont know. I just love to get back to the comfort of a small place that I call home.

My mom says I am one of those rare girls who don’t want to stay at mom’s place even as a short vacation post marriage. Well, that’s true. First of all, my mom stays in the same city, so it is very convenient to return home and more than that, I just love to get back home. Mom’s place had been my “home” for 25 years. And 8 years of marriage changed something. Now I call a different place as my home. And I am more attached to that place. And why not? Home is where the heart is!

Those 4 walls have seen me succeed, seen me fail, seen me ecstatic, seen me worried, seen me laugh till my stomach hurts, seen me cry till my eyes swell. My home has seen my tiffs with my husband and and a happy patch-up post that. My home is the place where i learned to cook, to take care of family and my home is the place where I matured as an individual.

Not sure how many of you will agree, but it is a great feeling to return to your home, even if it is empty. Of course, family being present makes it even better, but just the empty home on its own is also so comforting compared to any other place. Each time I come back home from a long trip, or a hospital, I feel so welcome and loved.

I think the vibes present in your home do the trick. All the love that is exchanged between family members, all the respect that is given to the elders, every day that engraves some memories, every birth or an every death that happens there, every argument, and every little ounce of maturity shown to understand your family members – every single thing contributes to those vibes. All these things create an aura around your home and once you enter your home, that aura protects you, comforts you!

Do your bit every day to add to this aura. Be good, do good so that you can come back to good vibes. Make your home a sweet home!

Office Romance – Uhhhh!!!

Office Romance

Not being a romantic self, I am not very fond of romance and office romance in particular is a complete turn away! A healthy flirting is good, you may say! And may be it is, but I believe it to be otherwise.

Office is a place where we spend more time than home, so naturally you are attached to your colleagues. That is fine! But the moment someone is crossing the line, things start getting difficult, whether I am the subject myself or only the audience.

If I see someone crossing that line with me, I exhibit the true traits of my zodiac Cancer and withdraw in my shell. So, office romance, for me, ends before it starts.

Now, what happens when I see others involved in this kind of romance? Well, you guessed it. I don’t like it. I mean, I don’t mind their relationship, but I do mind the the public display of affection. Come on yaar, there are better places than office to display affection! It is still ok to have such couples around, as long as they are serious about the relationship. But unfortunately, these days, the casual relationships are so common! Like, you dig into each other all through the day and then return to your spouse in the night. Wow! Who are you cheating on? Your spouse? Your colleague? Yourself?

Unfortunately, I have always seen the wrong side of office romance. Like extra marital affairs, one sided love (read lust) and desperation to be with someone (bandwagon effect). None of these three things do any good to any one.

An affair between the boss and a team member is a killer. The team member, whether being deserving or not, grows well in the career, and the audience like me always climb one step at a time (at times, none!). I have seen many extra marital office affairs breaking marriages, disturbing personal peace and career. And one sided “so called” love is the most destroying. It can put pressure to no end. Its good that most of the companies are incorporating sexual harassment policies but the process of seeking solace with these policies is so exhausting and embarrassing that most of the times, the victim just silently bears the abuse. Hooking to someone just to kill time, touch here and there for a little pleasure and kissing in the elevators – all of this is seen to be so OKAY these days!

In my eyes, there is a lot to loose for a few moments of pleasure, if someone is engaging in office romance. More often than not it exhibits the evil side of your personality.

Have you ever seen a beautiful side of office romance? Do share some stories.

In response to Savio’s post Do you wanna partner

Year-end Tag

Just Another Blogger

Savio had tagged me for this post in the last week of December but I took my own sweet time to do it! Thank you Savio for pushing me back to writing.

If God grants you an instant wish.. what would you ask for?

– I think I will be clueless! Will not know what to answer. There are so many things that I want, but not sure if I should bother God for it. He will give me what I deserve.

How well do you know yourself?

Well, that’ a tricky one! the moment I think I know myself like back of my hand, I surprise myself by doing something or reacting in a particular way which will make me think “Aditi, is it you really??” I think no one can know oneself completely – it is a continuous journey, because we keep changing as per the time and situation, right? We keep learning, we keep progressing.

What do you think about a bloggers meet up?

– Why not! Would be great to meet fellow bloggers in person.

If you could transform into any animal what would it be?

– It has to be a Tiger. I hear they sleep for 18 hours!!! And sleeping is my favorite activity. Plus, people will be scared of me… hahahahahha.

Favorite book.

– So far, “The Laws of The Spirit World”. It is totally a game changer. Changed the way I look at life, taught me a lot.

Do you think true love exists?

– Of course!!! Not just in movies but in real life too!!!

Ego or anger? Which one damages the most?

– I would say both! Anger is like sever heart attack while Ego is like a Cancer. Both kill you sooner or later.

What do you want to become?

– A mother 🙂

Do you believe that there would be a third part in the movie Bahubali?

– YES!!! And I will watch it too if it is released.

Name one thing you do that always feels right.

– Letting go. It is important to let go. Hoarding on to things, matters, fights etc doesnt do any good.

Where do you draw the most inspiration from your blog?

– From what I see around, and from some genius tags that Savio does 😉

Favorite country?

– Has to be India, I havent known any other country yet

What is a relationship breaker for you?

– Ego

Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

– YES – if I really love that person, I would definitely give a second chance. But not a third! 😉

If you’re in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone cheer you up?

– I just need my husband. I just need to see him around, it is ok if he doesn’t cheer me up, but he should be around.

 Are you confidential?

– YES – I only share EVERYTHING with my husband, nobody else. And that is safe, ok? Most of the times he turns a deaf year to my chatter

What’s the one thing people always misunderstand about you?

– That I have too much attitude.

What did your past relationship teach you?

– Some things are meant to not happen and it is for your best.

What job would you be terrible at?

– Scientist or a Mathematician, may be? Actually anything that involves using too much brain.

If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for?

– Non-stop chatter 🙂

What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

– Who am I?

What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

– Beggars! I just did a post on them some time back

What is the most annoying question people ask you?

– Nothing really, I dont get annoyed too easily

What is something a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

– Updates on Social Media

What one thing do you really want but can’t afford?

– World Tour

What did you think you would grow out of but haven’t?

– Controlling tears.

What do you wish your brain was better at doing?

– I think it is doing a good job.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

– No way! I will never change my name

What would be the most annoying thing to someone who has you as a roommate?

– The mess that I create. I just love to throw my clothes on the bed after changing.

Have you ever saved someone’s life?

– How I wish, but no, I haven’t

Mr Savio, I have completed this tag! Promise is a promise!

I nominate:

PoojaVinayakSanober – Guys, this is interesting. I hope you will participate! Hopefully, this will be fun, if not, use it like a filler on the days you want to post something but cannot think of anything. Please feel free to modify the tag name, like New Year Tag or Just Another Blogger – basically anything that you like.

 

 

Pity or Unmoved – Not Sure What to Feel!

Beggars

I have been in this dilemma for a very long time now. I just cant figure out how am I supposed to feel. A part of me says I should feel pity and do something for these guys. But seconds later another part of me says I need not, since it is nothing more than a gimmick.

Well, I am talking about the beggars that crowd near cars at traffic signals. I hate calling them beggars, but I am sorry, they don’t do anything more than begging. There are some who try to sell some petty articles like pens and stickers or balloons, but i will call it masked begging. Because they force you to buy those articles even when you don’t need them and they will never let you go with buying just one, they will force many more.

So, every signal our car halts at, we see many beggars approaching us and all other cars there. Initially, that is like 4 years ago, we would give money very willingly and these guys seemed contented with that. But of late, there seems to be an upgrade to their modus operandi. A penny never pleases them, they always want more. It is extremely heart breaking to see crippled people crowding the cars and asking for money. Ideally, it is supposed to evoke immense sympathy for them but things seem to be changing now. Each time the cars halts at the signal, we roll up the windows (mostly we travel with windows down, both of us like fresh air compared to AC) thus avoiding any contact with these beggars. Most other cars do the same. There will be few who will bother to give some money but that doesn’t move us. Really!

I mean, when I think, there will be children who look able to work but yet are seen begging. There are adults who fake disability and ask for alms. Why do these guys do nothing better than begging. Why cant they earn money in a different manner? I understand that these days, beggar trafficking (that’s what i like to call) is no less than human trafficking and perhaps all these able people who beg are trapped and forced to do so, but, really is there no way out? Not sure! On the other hand, some people could be really crippled, I mean you can see it really, like and amputated leg or a plucked eye. But unfortunately, these guys get a cold shoulder because of able beggars.

Beggars are mostly ignored these days, and why not? They don’t seem genuine to me. Each time I meet a beggar, I ask if he would like to eat something and 99% of them refuse and say they just need money. Even if you give them money, they will never seem to be satisfied with a tenner. So what is it like? Give them a hundred? I am like WOW – there is definitely something more to it than just what they try to show – like – they could be hungry really – but not for food, for money! Will a very needy person who goes to the extent of begging will refuse food? May be these guys are a part of a larger group who are given targets for collections? May be it is their job? May be they get some incentives if they over achieve their targets for the day? May be they are tormented if they do not bring in money? I don’t know!

What I know is I cant allow myself to keep giving money to everybody who knocks at my car’s window. It is unfortunate that they have to do it, but am I really responsible for it? What hurts me more is – I miss a chance to help somebody who really is in need. God forgive me for that!

This confuses me to no end! I can’t figure out whether I should feel pity or unmoved!

How do you guys handle such people?

The Forgoten Past

Raghav was sitting across Ayesha with his heart filled with hope. It was 100th time or perhaps even more that he was attempting this conversation with her. After all, this was all he was trying to do since past 3 months.

These 3 months were the toughest of his life. He just could not bear to see the unfamiliarity in Ayesha’s eyes and he couldn’t bear her hesitation when he touched her. Even the platonic touch of a hand shake seemed so forced. There were days when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other but today everything had changed.

Actually, to be precised things changed 4 months ago when they met with an unlikely accident. Raghav and Ayesha were honeymooning in New Zealand. Both loved adventure and were very excited to try the adventure sport called “Heaven Chair”. They just loved the idea of being tied together to an open chair car and being thrown down and suspended from many 100s of feet. They had tried similar sports many times before and the fear never touched their minds. Thanks to all the successful adventures they had so far. Little did they know that the Heaven Chair was actually going to make their life hell.

The unexpected happened and the Heaven Chair hit the edge of the mountain repeatedly while surrendering to gravity and Raghav doesn’t remember what happened after that. The accident was so bad that it was a miracle that Raghav and Ayesha survived through this. Raghav was recovering from multiple fractures and an amputated leg while Ayesha slipped into coma for a month. The fall had damaged some nerve in the brain and when she revived from coma she had lost her memory completely.

It was 3 months that Ayesha had come out of coma and Raghav was making peace with an artificial leg. Raghav was not upset with his lost leg and numerous scars all over his body as much as he was with the fact that Ayesha refused to recognize him.

He was trying so hard to bring back her memory but nothing worked. He held her hand with the hope that perhaps she will find the touch familiar but instead she jerked her hand off each time. He showed her their wedding photographs thinking that perhaps she may recall at least something but instead she accused him of having photoshopped those pictures. He narrated to her how they had met 10 yrs ago and how did they fall in love thinking that the depth of love they shared until 3 months ago may do the trick but alas!

Today was no different. Raghav tried doing all these things all over again. Ayesha looked unmoved. In fact, she looked frustrated and waited with a straight face for Raghav to get done.

Minutes after Raghav ran out of his tricks, Ayesha pulled out some papers and handed them over to Raghav.

“Raghav, we can’t keep doing this. I trust you when you say we are married but none of your stories evoke any kind of feelings or memories in me. I feel trapped in an imaginary world. I feel intimidated by your so called love. Please, get these signed when you come to meet me next time. Let us set each other free”

Ayesha picked her bag and left. Raghav kept staring at the divorce notice that was just handed to him.

10 years of love and 7 days of marriage succumbed to 4 months of memory loss!

Inspired by daily prompt: Evoke

Thank You 2017!

Buddha

Happy New Year to all of you! Those who remember me must be wondering where have I been for so many months, and those who have already forgotten me, well, no offence 🙂 The rule of “Out of Sight Out of Mind” does work!

I had been away for second half of 2017 and it was for good! Thankfully, it was not because of depression or anything, but because some really great developments that happened in my personal life. I am totally overwhelmed with these developments and I can’t thank God enough. While all this time when I was away and busy in unfolding these developments, I learnt 4 key things which I want to share with you all.

  1. Everything has it’s time: Most of us could be waiting for something, like a career opportunity, marriage, that dream trip, love, children etc. And we could have worked so hard to achieve it, yet we may not get the desired results. It is OK! Dont be surprised, it is really OK, what matter is that we tried. And our earnest efforts do bear fruits some day! Everything has its own time to happen, it will not happen when you want it to but it will certainly happen at the right time.
  2. Bow down: It is very important that we bow down in front of a supreme power. This supreme power could be anything and anybody that you look up to as superior than yourself. Be it God, parents, Guide or just any other power. It is very important to surrender in front of this power. It is only then that you see clear what lies ahead. In other words, it means that by bowing down or surrendering yourself you clean yourself from a part of ego or self esteem. Slowly you travel towards modesty and humbleness. Only polite talks do not make one modest, actions do!
  3. Don’t Lose hope: Well, you must have heard this from many, read this in many books but it is very very true. It is very easy to give up and it is very difficult to hang on, but friends, perhaps what God tests before giving us what we want is our will-power to achieve that thing. Just keep going, be focused and keep faith that you will get what you deserve!
  4. Stay away from negativity: Little do we realize that we are surrounded by a great amount of negativity. That complaining woman who cribs about everything in her life, that frustrated man who keeps saying that good happens only to others, that upset person who says efforts are never paid for – all of them are spreading negativity. Stay away from these. Stay away from people who are rigidly negative. Plant a hope in your heart and nurture it. If you stay with negativity, this hope dies out very soon. Negative influence makes you do negative actions. Thus, you may end up doing bad for yourself, and even worse, you may never realize that you are paving your path to the grave.

You all may be wondering what happened to me all of a sudden? Why did I turn so spiritual? Well, time teaches you a lot! And these 6 months taught me things which life couldn’t teach me in last 33 years.

I know I may not have made complete sense. But at the same time I know, there will be some of you who will relate to at least one learning, sooner or later!

Wishing you a good, positive and healthy life!!

One In One Out Rule – The Best Way To Manage Emotions

This blog was first posted on mycity4kids.com

Sorrow to happy

The other day I was cleaning my house. It was not the routine of mopping and dusting but it was a conscious and planned effort to separate the essentials from the clutter. We often make spontaneous purchases but we don’t always use them. Some things just lie in the cupboard for no use. There are some other things which are now worn out or unusable but we don’t want to throw them because there are memories attached to it. All this eventually results in heaps and piles of unwanted things at home. Hence, I had planned to throw away at least 50% of the unwanted things that day so that I am able to make space for the things that I really need.

At the end of this cleaning session, I was surprised to see how much space was freed up in my wardrobe, how the kitchen looked clutter free and how the contents in other cupboards were neatly arranged. It brought in a fresh feeling! After all, who doesn’t like an organised house?

Then a thought crossed my mind. Why can’t we follow the same action for all the clutter that we have in our mind?

Lot of times, our mind is full of negative emotions like anger, frustration, envy, loneliness, guilt. We do not acknowledge these emotions because we sympathize with self thinking it is natural and just to be angry, frustrated in so and so situation. Meaning, I will obviously get angry if someone insults me. I will think that the person is very rude. I will hate that person. I will not talk nicely with that person. What am I doing here? I am dwelling on negative emotions which is wrong. It is natural to feel negative emotions but what is important is we let go.

Unless I let go these negative emotions how am I going to be able to make space for positive emotions? Same like cleaning my house! I suddenly felt like I found a key to happiness.

If I let negative emotions dwell on my mind, it will set me in an infinite loop of negativity and then it will be very difficult to break through this loop.

I remember a story that my dad used to tell me when I was small. It said, Happiness is deaf and Sorrow is blind. The more crib and cry regarding why you are made to suffer or the more you talk bad about others, sorrow will come searching for you taking help of the noise (cribbing) that you make. Where as since happiness is deaf it will not be able to hear how unhappy your are. However, if you distance yourself from crying and cribbing happiness will see some space and will come and occupy that space. It will spread happiness in that space in such a way that sorrow will not be able to make any damage to you.

As a child I could not understand the depth of this story, but when I grew up I realized how meaningful and important it is.

The best way is to practice One In One Out Rule. It is nothing but what I explained above. Take out one and make place for another! For example, if you are short tempered, make conscious efforts to get angry less often. It will not happen overnight but if you continue with your efforts it will certainly happen over a period of time. Once you are able to control your anger see how it makes way for calmness. As and how your anger (magnitude + frequency) will go on reducing, you will have more serenity and patience. Thus, one negative emotion goes out and one positive emotion comes in.

You are the best judge of yourself. Because only you will know how do you react and why do you react in that fashion. Find of things in you that need to go out. It could be anything like anger, laziness, fear/phobia, hatred etc. Be on a look out for good things that you want to gain like containment, happiness, patience, modesty etc. Work on yourself to throw out bad things and bring in good things.

Friends, most of the things in life are simple but we complicate them because of our reflexes and negative thoughts in our minds. And in order to have a calm and positive mind, it is very important to detox your mind periodically, like you detox your body.

This will help you to gain control over your emotions, rather right kind of emotions and it will certainly transform you  into a better individual.

Dr T. P Chia says:

“To balance and control your emotions is one of the most important things in life. Positive emotions enhance your life. Negative emotions sabotage your life. We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our motions influence and shape our desires, thoughts and behaviors and above all our destiny. Positive emotions, such as the feelings of love, kindness, self-worth, confidence and optimism, produce a better person and a good destiny.”

Master the art of One In One Out and take charge of yourself, be a better individual!

Do share your experiences in comments section below.